Lets Start A War
by roxyyRAWRR
Summary: Help Allen or Kanda win the war between them! First one to 20 to embarrass their opponent wins! Punishments are; Allen gets "punished" & Kanda wears a dress 8DD Yullen obviously, and pics involved! future lemon so only T now
1. Kanda's Letter 1

**Okay, so it's like this! I started this little comic thing on dA, and now I'm just putting it in FF form 8D**

**Allen&&Kanda are having a small war (implied Yullen), and you get a point whenever you embarrass or harm the other person. It's the first one to 20 and they're using notes or letter or w/e to communicate with each other. And at the end the winner gets to choose a "punishment" for the loser, of course I will write the punishment.**

**Allen's punishment for Kanda is that he'll have to wear a maid dress, (fyi, I will draw all of these for your eyes if you want) &&Kanda's punishment for Allen is that he… well… gets to really "punish him"…nosebleed 8D**

**---**

Foolish moyashi, you really think you can win this war?

It's at times like this I wonder how stupid you really are. You have no fucking idea what sort of things I can do to hurt you. Since you're so fucking innocent and pure (like hell, I've seen your poker skills) I'll initiate the first step, I hope your prepared because I won't back down that easily. Hell, I _won't_ back down.

Surely you've by now realized that I'm a morning person and always wake up when the rooster crows, therefore giving me the advantage of 'excess time'. I took the liberty of putting you on a slight diet seeing as you always eat so much and don't gain anything; if you're not careful all those pounds of weight will suddenly collapse on you. I threw all of your beloved food out the window and disposed of the plates and such by handing them to Jerry, claiming they were donated by Komui because he's "**such a lovely person**". Che. Yeah, right.

When you wake up at I don't know, _fucking noon_, you won't be greeted by your usual mountain of delicious food, but nothing. That's fucking right; I even sprayed cherry blossom scent in the fridge so you won't even get the satisfaction of smelling the aroma.

Don't you even for a fucking second think of fucking coming after me. If you do try, I'm sure Komui has informed me of my whereabouts; that's fucking right; I'm on a mission so suck on that! (You'll be doing that when I win this war.)

Your move, moyashi.

Signed, Kanda

**---**

**Let's Start A War #1;** http://roxyyrawrr (dot) deviantart (dot) com/art/DGM-Let-s-Start-A-War-1-119362868

**So anyway, R&R if you have any idea on what Kanda or Allen can do, you'll all be joining sides by helping them in the war! xDD and I will give special distinction to the people who helped the wonderful Allen Walker and sexy Kanda Yuu!**

**-randomness-**

**Kanda: …69.**

**Allen: …Oh my.**


	2. Kanda's Letter 2

**Thank you to (someone random, sorry I don't know who they are) && MeKillAllenAndLavi 8D**

**Continuation; Let's Start A War # 2**

Moyashi,

I'm taking it you won't join the war since you haven't replied to my message and every time I glance at you to see your answer, you just turn your head or smile that ridiculous smile. I'm bored, and I will get you to fight.

Be fucking prepared though, cause you've pissed me off a lot lately (you think I don't PMS enough already?) and I'm going to get back at you, _hard._ I haven't forgotten the little incident with Lavi where you "accidentally" left out my Mugen and Baka Usagi had a nice time trying to activate it and run around the city waving it around. The fucking mayor had me pay for all the damages he'd caused and the Baka Usagi got away with no debts or anything of that sort. Che. You better run motherfucker, because I have a plan.

Yes, and the way I'm doing that is… I scattered a few of Bak's Lenalee pictures on your desk, and had Lavi inform Komui that his beloved Lenalee had been last seen in YOUR room. Of course I waited until he was done with his new invention, the screw-driver hammer thing, and his latest Komurin; this way he can battle all out and kick your fucking ass. And Bak won't be that happy either when he sees that his pictures are missing and in their place there are motherfucking loads of debts, all of them your masters. And who's the bitch that pays his masters debts? That's right, you.

Next time I look over at you, you better have a fucking sinister plan in your head. Accept the goddamn challenge, moyashi.

Kanda

---

**Lets Start A War #2; http://roxyyrawrr (dot) deviantart (dot) com/art/DGM-Let-s-Start-A-War-2-119365446**

**I'll show you guys why I had Kanda write 2 letters in a row on the next ****"message" m'kay??**

**Okay, so these are the scoreboards and which people are voting for who~**

**Kanda: 2 points Allen: 0**

**Kanda fans: 1 (MeKillAllenAndLavi) Allen fans: 1 (someone random, they didn't write their name)**


	3. Allen's Letter 1

**Thanks for the reviews artemis89 && MeKillAllenAndLavi && that person whose name I don't know****~ This time, Allen's letter!**

**Continuation; Let's Start A War #3**

Dea-

…

Kanda,

I accept your stupid challenge. Honestly, I didn't think you were so immature as to start a fight with me; this truly proves how low you can go just to win. (fyi, you're not going to win this one, jerk.)

To tell the truth, I was quiet surprised when you told me it was you who had taken all my food (yes, I did freak out and almost went into a severe stage of depression). I had suspected it was one of Lavi's "surprises" that he'd launched upon me. And your little "trick" with Lenalee pictures… that was cheap. I swear I lost 10 pounds or something when Komui chased me for 3 hours straight around the Black Order (I'm just glad Reever stopped him in time before he did some _serious _damage)! After I had talked to him (epic duel more likely) and convinced him that I hadn't taken the pictures and Lavi was just mistaken when he pointed out my room (you're right, the red-head must die.), Bak-chan tackled me to the floor and I'm honest to god, he used this Asian martial arts move that allowed him to kick me into a wall and leave a print. Luckily I didn't break any bones… until the second kick.

All of this was just terrible and I don't understand why you would do such harsh things to me, but I've come to accept it and would gladly enjoy a debate with you.

Sincerely, Allen Walker

P.S. I LOVE YUU! 33333

P.P.S. I guess that little line gives me an additional point… Ha!

---

**Let's Start A War; http://roxyyrawrr (dot) deviantart (dot) com/art/DGM-Let-s-Start-A-War-3-119367603**

**And this is the reason why Kanda wrote 2 letter before…**

**SCOREBOARD!!**

**Kanda; 2 Allen; 2 (+1 for luuuuv)**

**Kanda fans: 2 (artemis89, MeKillAllenAndLavi) Allen fans; 1 (the person who didn't write their name)**


	4. Kanda's Letter 3

**Thank you to (someone random, sor****ry I don't know who they are), MeKillAllenAndLavi, Blood Soaked Redemption, AllenWalker4ever, MitarashiiDango, , Lochesh, Kandalover, IzumiHyuuga && artemis89**

**Continuation; Let's Start A War # ****4**

--

You fucking bastard! That's unfair game, your entire last letter was covered in crimson red liquid from the nosebleed I had! From now on, sexual innuendos and seduction is not allowed in this war! I fucking swear to God, if you try it again it'll make your punishment all that more painful!

Tch, I could fucking spend several fucking hours talking about how you're fucking fucked up for using such fucking cowardly tactics… yeah, I've got talent, bitch.

But than I would never get to my latest masterpiece to make your life a living hell until I win. First of fucking all, I'd like you to read back to when I said 'no sexual innuendos and seuction' and note that I said 'from now on'. Which means that from the moment you read this letter, all this sexiness and teasing is forbidden. Hm.

You're such an dumbass you're probably not even capable of understanding my next statements unless I break it down for you. Oh don't worry; I made it easy good-for-nothing moyashi.

I unplugged your alarm clock (I know how you like to lay in bed in the morning) so that when you wake up and realize it's late you'd just take 5 seconds to get dressed, put on shoes and run down to Jerry's, obviously not bothering to make your bed. Where the fuck are your manners?!

The previous night I exchanged your normal vest, silk garment, shoes and pants with a lovely polka dot dress and satin shoes in plaid. (what? Surprised I don't know fashion? Screw you.)

Mornings are always a full hour at the cafeteria, so I hope you don't mind the stares, whistles and 'grr, baby come here' from various men. (I'll kill them later) And no, people won't recognize you because shitload of girls dye their hair bleach blonde and your hair practically frames your entire face, nobody will be able to see your scar and realize it's you

Now, look around the cafeteria until your eyes fall upon the 2nd table from the entrance, left side. Got it? Good. See me waving? Excellent.

Now suffer, bitch.

**--**

DGM Lets Start A War #4; _**http : // roxyyrawrr . deviantart . com/art/ DGM-Lets-Start-A-War-4-132211463**_

**OKAY! SO A NEW LAW!**

**I've decided that instead of me writing my own little letters&&torture ideas, you guys say it… that way it'll be Allen fangirls vs. Kanda fangirls xDD**

**EPIC BATTLE OF DOOM!!!!**

**-ahem- well yeah, so you guys just send in what you want&&stuff yeah?**

**I love Kanda's letter 8D**

**Prolly my favourite one so far, and the instructions are veeeeeeeery creative, neh? –lies-**

**I actually got it from the idea that we had to do recipe poems in 7****th**** grade, and it just hit so I was like "Oh! Awesome."**

**R&R much appreciated&&don't forget to tell me who you're rooting for!**

**Okay, so these are the scoreboards and which people are voting for who~**

**Kanda: 3 points**** Allen: 2 points**

**Kanda fans: 6 (MeKillAllenAndLavi, artemis89, Kandalover, Lochesh, , Blood Soaked Redemption****) Allen fans: 4 (someone random, they didn't write their name, AllenWalker4ever, MitarashiiDango, IzumiHyuuga)**


	5. Allen's Letter 2

**Thanks for the reviews artemis89 && MeKillAllenAndLavi && that**** person whose name I don't know, AllenWalker4ever, NadiaWolfsky, MidnightEmber, Kanda-is-all-I-want, IzumiHyuuga, Blood Soaked Redemption, Lily-chu, Memory(1), Memory(2), MitarashiiDango, envysfangirl, Lochesh, and CrimsonKitsune333 !**

**This time, Allen's letter!**

**Continuation; Let's Start A War #****5**

--

Bonjour Kanda,

I'm feeling pretty smug today. Perhaps because I got to eat everyone's leftovers today in lunch when they couldn't swallow another bite of sweet-sugary goodness! (No, not Candy Mountain) You know I've been avoiding Komui all day and haven't gotten any deadly missions or unknown freakish experiments… Although he did find me once and chased me around the Order, the only way I escaped his grip was by turning and darting down the hallway, abruptly coming to a halt in front of your bedroom and crashing into it and quickly locking the door behind me.

Panting and leaning my weight against the door and holding onto the walls for dear life I hear as he passes by. When his footsteps disappeared I thought of leaving, but then I realized… I'm alone in Kanda's room.

…

Fun.

So obviously I rummaged through your stuff, stepping onto your property and flailing things about to see what mysterious things you might have hidden in that small room of yours which you never let anyone into alone, yet _anyone. _I guess I can tell you I found some pretty useless things; a brown cardboard box under your bed with a few screws in it, your cupboard with your finely lined uniforms and silk garment shirts, and also a few random books that lay scattered on your bookshelf.

So it was pretty boring I guess, nothing really interesting caught my eye.

Oh.

Except of course this story that I found in one of your desk drawers. Allow me to write a piece of it here for you.

"_**Nggh.." With his eyes still shut, Allen panted heavily and tried to regain his voice and breathe, lying on the table with his body glazed in sweat.**_

_**His body shivered when he felt something warm around his abdominal area, and he wasn't surprised to witness Kanda lapping up the remains of Allen's white, sticky liquid that had just errupted from him. In some sick, sort of twisted way Allen enjoyed watching Kanda work on him, wanting to taste every part of him and exploring every crook and crevice of Allen's small body. Finally done with getting every inch of Allen's lower region clean, and satisfied with the god-blessed taste that he had just gotten (this was definitley his favorite dessert)—**_

…

I didn't know you wrote fanfiction.

I must say though, your writing is divine and I could definitely imagine myself in the story. Oh, wait. Wait, wait, wait a second.

I WAS IN THE STORY!

I can't believe you wrote a Yullen fanfic and didn't tell me! This actually had me turned on and I had to stop reading halfway through just to stop my heart from beating! (Now I see why fangirls write fanfiction, and I support them 100%) Well since you decided to keep this little piece of goodness away from me I've changed all the Allen names to Cross. I wonder how everyone will react to this petite story with the few changes I've done when Lavi reads it out aloud in the dining room.

--

**Oh look! Allen approves of fangirls fanfiction-writing!**

**Celebration times come on! xDD**

**Btw, I've taken a pause on my comics because my computer is fucking up so my tablet won't let me draw D;**

**This one is short yeah, but you know, so is every letter between these two ;P**

**Any ideas anyone?? I've gotten a few from the comments but it's mostly for Kanda and another for Allen I have in store; I will give you credit for the idea just so you know I'm not STEALING it or anything.**

**I don't swing like that.**

…**did anyone else think that sounded like I was a lesbian??**

**R&R for more Yullen!**

**Okay, so these are the scoreboards and which people are voting for who~**

**Kanda: 3 points Allen: 3 points**

**Kanda fans: 12**** (MeKillAllenAndLavi, artemis89, Kandalover, Lochesh, Blood Soaked Redemption, NadiaWolfsky, MidnightEmber, Kanda-is-all-I-want, Izumi-Hyuuga, Lily-chu, Memory(2), ) Allen fans: 4 (someone random, they didn't write their name, AllenWalker4ever, MitarashiiDango, CrimsonKitsune333)**


	6. Kanda's Letter 4

**Thanks for the reviews artemis89 && MeKillAllenAndL****avi && that person whose name I don't know, AllenWalker4ever, NadiaWolfsky, MidnightEmber, Kanda-is-all-I-want, IzumiHyuuga, Blood Soaked Redemption, Lily-chu, Memory(1), Memory(2), MitarashiiDango, envysfangirl, Lochesh, and CrimsonKitsune333, Hanamaru, AnimePinkGirl, Sungodess64, sweetkakes35, Kayday, nintendochild, Mitsuki2185, Deeper than Darkness !**

**This time, Kanda's letter!**

**Continuation; Let's Start A War #****6**

--

Oi, moyashi,

I hope you're fucking proud of your fanfic stunt because now the entire fucking Order is after me requesting various stories about pairings I have never even heard of! Those dipshits won't leave me alone for a fucking second and I blame you, asshole! Like what the hell is EdxRoy? And SasuNaru?? I don't even know if this is a pairing, but Lucky? Hope you fucking know there's hell to pay and I will find you, kill you, revive you… and kill you again.

Ever seen SAW? Well forget that shit, what I'll do to you is thousand times worse than that; and it's all because of that crazy-ass stunt you pulled, dumbass.

Unfortunately I don't have the authority to kill you yet seeing as Komui still wants to use you for a few delicate experiments (suffer bi-ATCH!), so I'll have to settle with another stunt. This one I myself found rather alluring because it promised a lot of pain to you, and I literally, didn't lay a hand on you. You've probably already noticed but I've taken the liberty of sneaking into your room when you're asleep (so what? Sue me.) and decorating your boring ass room with Lenalee's and Miranda's multiple bras and panties, even these weird ones I found that were brown with laces and I'm pretty sure they were edible… which reminds me; **DON'T. EAT. THE. LINGERIE. **

I may also have left a trail of Lenalee's possessions in front of Komui's office door and have it lead to your room. FYI, your door's unlocked and Miranda and Lenalee come home from a mission at 6:00 A.M., but you don't wake up until 9 something, isn't that right? By the time you've read this a week will have passed since the incident and I know you're crumbling the paper right now and your right eye is twitching furiously… amazing how you still have the energy to smile with your face busted from Komui and the girls attack.

Fucking suffer, fucking take the pain, and fucking learn who is your _real _Master, bitch.

**--**

**I'm running low on ideas, and they're all basically the same… O.o**

**But actually the next one is going to be outside of the Order for once, and it's going to be on a mission or something :3**

**Ha! I've just given up on the comics… I'll do them someday when I'm reaaaaaally bored and I feel like drawing ._. …Oh yeah. I take 'lazy' to a whole new level ;D**


	7. Allen's Letter 3

**Okay, the**** next, **_**next **_**one is going to be outside the order, because someone gave me an idea which I can't believe I didn't think of before –slaps self- I R SO STUPID. 8D**

**Fankyew very much **_**Black Alice Butterfly **_**^^ the idea was so obvious, why I have I never noticed it before?! xD**

**Thanks for the reviews artemis89 && MeKillAllenAndL****avi && that person whose name I don't know, AllenWalker4ever, NadiaWolfsky, MidnightEmber, Kanda-is-all-I-want, IzumiHyuuga, Blood Soaked Redemption, Lily-chu, Memory(1), Memory(2), MitarashiiDango, envysfangirl, Lochesh, CrimsonKitsune333, Hanamaru, AnimePinkGirl, Sungodess64, sweetkakes35, Kayday, nintendochild, Mitsuki2185, Deeper than Darkness, Black Alice Butterfly, Crimsonpheonix271, ClosetYullenFanGirl, nellaxadnak17895, Zapheq, AnimaeGoddess, Naruta13, Zenigami, lily-chan, 100thAngel, xbleedinglotusx, Darcy Mousy, animeloverme && UsagixNoxBaka !**

**This time, Allen****'s letter!**

**Continuation; Let's Start A War #****7**

---

Dear Bakanda,

I must say, your last prank truly, really, honestly, caused me a lot of pain. Yes, Miranda did fall to her knees and burst into tears the minute she followed the trail and found that I was the culprit. Her sobbing woke me up by the way and I felt dizzy immediately as I saw all the various undergarments spread across my room. Did I ever mention that you're an ass by the way? I felt horrible because Miranda tried to commit suicide, and I couldn't do anything about it because when I tried to approach her she let out this shrill scream. I'm pretty sure everyone in the Order heard it, which is probably why I found Lenalee standing by my door, currently out of breathe.

She took one glance at my room and all of a sudden her dark boots activated. And to make matters worse, Miranda had made her way to my window to try and jump out of it and commit suicide, _again,_ and when I tried to stop her she began sobbing my name and crying out 'why, oh why!'. That was humiliating and very awkward. Even more awkward was when Komui entered the room and saw the entire ruckus. I've never been so scared in my entire life. He had Komurin IV following right behind him with his robotic eyes glowing in the darkness of the hallway, and Lenalee's shoulders were trembling as she focused her stare on the floor. Suddenly Miranda made a run for the window for the third time, and I being the good gentleman I am, ran after her. Unfortunately Komui and Miranda misconstrued this as an act of aggression and both of them launched at me; Lenalee with her Innocence, and Komui with his diabolic screwdriver and Komurin IV.

…I can't remember much after that.

Well you were right. The bruises and cuts on my face make it hard for me to smile, and the pain is never-ending. I have to take pills so at the moment I'm completely drugged up. Which probably explains why I did what I did. You don't know what I did, so allow me to explain it to you so your miniscule brain can comprehend it.

Oh. And you should know that after my very severe beating I got sent to the medical room and got hospitalized. Komui was furious and still wanted to rip out my guts and paint the wall with my blood, so Reever had to drag him back to his office with the help of Johnny and two other finders. At first it was difficult to hold Komui down, but then thirteen more finders came and they hauled him away as his scream echoed through the hallways. I found out that Miranda has passed out and was now in the care of Krory. How sweet.

After that Lenalee visited me and she was thoroughly pissed I tell you. Her eyes were hellish and her stare pierced through my body like I'd been stabbed with a spike over and over again. The feeling was tremendous and I couldn't even utter a single word. That was until she asked me why I'd decorated my room with their undergarments. I couldn't exactly prove anything, so I told her that I didn't know. She left right after that with a huff.

But then (thank God) you left me that letter explaining about it all, and I just took it straight to Lenalee and had her read it. It was quite embarrassing yes, but she finally realized that I wasn't the culprit to the whole 'lingerie incident' and offered to help me get revenge, seeing as your little prank was oh-so cruel.

Isn't she lovely?

Which is why she agreed to run into Komui's office during his nap hour, tears streaming down her face and shaking uncontrollably. Then when Komui wakes up and sees this he's going to ask her what happened, she'll sob a few times and try to utter something, but won't be able to. And then she's going to take a big breather, must up all her energy and say that—

Well. Why don't I just spell it out for you.

"**Yuu slept with Lenalee."**

---

**Confident Fear. ****I swear. I'm going to work on it now.**

**The thing is… I'm kind of scared of posting it O.o because I haven't updated in like 2 months, I'm just feeling so guilty that I made everyone wait. Oh. And the best part is, I added a chapter that I said I would be updating this weekend… I said that about 5 weeks ago ._.**

**I know, I suck.**

**Kanda: 4 points Allen: 5**** points**

**HOSNAP! :O Allen's in the LEAD!**

**And Kanda's rooters/fans are decreasing! D;**

**Kanda's loosing his touch. Tsk, tsk.**

**Kanda fa****ns: 16 (MeKillAllenAndLavi, artemis89, Kandalover, Lochesh, Blood Soaked Redemption, NadiaWolfsky, MidnightEmber, Kanda-is-all-I-want, Izumi-Hyuuga, Lily-chu, Memory(2), Memory(1), Mitsuki2185, ClosetYullenFanGirl, AnimaeGoddess, animeloverme)**

**All****en fans: 15 (someone random, they didn't write their name, AllenWalker4ever, MitarashiiDango, CrimsonKitsune333, Deeper than Darkness, nintendochild, Kayday, sweetkakes35, AnimePinkGirl, Crimsonpheonix271, Zapheq, Naruta13, 100****th**** Angel, Darcy Mousy, UsagixNoxBaka)**


End file.
